Inner Demons

I saw a t-shirt the other day that made me laugh. It said: “Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle.” It also made me wonder…can we ever truly banish our inner demons? I mean…we all have our struggles, fears, regrets, and emotional wounds. That’s a part of being human. But can we ever truly make them go away?

I decided to do some research, and, as you can imagine, opinions and approaches to dealing with our inner demons were as numerous as the stars in the sky. However, there are some commonalities across all these multiple approaches (in the bulleted list below). And they hold true in my own journeys and struggles with my inner demons.

Here’s what I’ve learned about inner demons over the years:

• We all have them. Every single one of us. There’s nothing to be ashamed about.

• Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. In my case, ignoring them or pretending they didn’t exist made them stronger.

• We often self-medicate. Alcoholism, anyone?

• Acknowledging and addressing our inner demons changes everything.

The breakthrough moment for me came when I said: “I’m too tired. I can’t do this anymore. Yes, I have inner demons.” My demons don’t scare me anymore. They don’t control me. And they don’t live rent free in my brain. I recognize my demons. I fully embrace them (which makes them very uncomfortable and shy). They want me to resist and fight them – that’s what makes them stronger. Dragging them into the light of day and having an earnest discussion with them is…well…the demons biggest inner demon.

I’m not convinced that our inner demons just go away. They are an integral part of who we are. And that’s not a bad thing. We can actually learn a lot about ourselves from our demons. What are our stressors that cause us to get agitated and lash out? What are the triggers that cause us to turn to substance dependence and potential abuse? What are the things that can absolutely terrify us into doing something irrational or dangerous?  

We also have a tendency to beat ourselves up if we fall back into a bad habit or succumb to a demon that had been quiet for 20 years. Self-loathing empowers the demon. But here’s the thing. We’re not perfect creatures. Life’s journey is not a straight line. It’s full of twists and turns. It’s full of steps forward and steps backward. It’s full of great successes and tremendous failures. And that’s ok. We need to give ourselves space and grace to be imperfect. That’s what makes us human.

Tell your demons my demons say hello. 😁 

Until next week.

Cheers,

Andy

(All written content created the old-fashioned way.)