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Giving Up vs. Letting Go
Andy Prince
June 26, 2026
Imagine you pick up a book and start reading it. About halfway through, you don’t care much for it. It just doesn’t seem to hold your interest. If you stop reading it at that point, are you giving up? Or are you letting it go? I’ve slogged through books that made my brain hurt, but I refused to stop reading until the end. I started the book, dammit, I’m going to finish it! Substitute movies, TV shows, video games, home projects, and all sorts of other things for the book. We live in a culture that tends to equate stopping with failure.
But as I’ve aged (and, hopefully, become a bit wiser), I’ve gained some perspective on the “giving up vs. letting go” struggle (and it’s a real struggle that can get a bit murky at times) – and not just for simple things (like books), but also for far more complex things we encounter along life’s journey (possibly moving on from people in our lives or leaving a job).
Here are some general guidelines I’ve learned about giving up versus letting go (some of this is through my own experience; some based on research I’ve done).
Giving Up | Letting Go | |
|---|---|---|
Why do we stop doing something? | Driven by fear, shame, and frustration | Driven by self-awareness and value alignment |
What is the trigger point? | A sense of being overwhelmed, driven by perfectionism, or a sense of inadequacy | The impact on our physical and mental well-being and/or our values |
How do we feel after stopping? | A sense of collapse and defeat | A sense of relief, peace, and possibility (and maybe a little sadness) |
How do we view ourselves? | Incapable | Confident and calm |
What is the long-term effect? | The world shrinks, and we feel more stuck | The world expands, and we feel more free and open to explore |
Is there a hard-and-fast rule to giving up versus letting go? In my experience, no. However, I’ve found with the guidelines above that it’s easier for me to move on from things that seem to inhibit my growth and possibility (like that darn book), and I’ve been more willing to dig deeper and push through things that are difficult but truly help me grow.
Basically, giving up is what happens when fear convinces us we’re out of moves. Letting go is what happens when wisdom finally sees we’re free to choose a different path.
By the way, I was going to drop the Frozen song in here somewhere, but I figured it would just become an earworm and rattle around your head for a while. You’re welcome. 😁
Until next week.
Andy