Fear Factor

President Franklin Roosevelt said in his inaugural address that “we have nothing to fear but fear itself.” I sort of agree with him and sort of don’t. In my life, I’ve run across two different kinds of fear: rational fear and irrational fear. I suspect we’ve all experienced a bit of both. The challenge, sometimes, is distinguishing between the two. It can be a very fine line.  

When I was a kid, my parents were eating dinner with a handful of friends. Armed men came into the restaurant and robbed all the guests at gunpoint. I remember my Dad telling me the story – I was completely mesmerized. I can only imagine how terrified my parents must have been. Their fear was very rational.

But, as I’ve shared before, I take medication for anxiety. I was afraid of having a panic attack while driving – especially on highways. The irony of it all is that the fear of the panic attack led to panic attacks. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. And it’s a vicious cycle to break because my fear fed upon itself. This is irrational fear.

A quick distinction between the two is this:

• Rational fear: Something that can harm you or someone you care about.

• Irrational fear: Something you BELIEVE can harm you or someone you care about but is highly unlikely.

I’ve heard rational fears referred to as “realistic” fears, but that’s not accurate. When you’re having a panic attack or moment of anxiety, that irrational fear feels very, very real. Believe me, I know.

Rational fear is actually a very important function in our survival as a people. If we had no rational fears of things that can truly cause harm, we wouldn’t be around for very long. Our body goes into fight or flight mode when we are afraid. That works well when there is a genuine threat (rational fear) – not so well when the threat isn’t genuine but perceived (irrational fear).

There is quite a bit to truly fear in the world today, no doubt about it. Hell, I just turn on the news and I feel my fear factor rising. I sift through my fears (almost subconsciously) to determine what is a rational fear and what is more of an irrational fear. With my rational fears, I try to maintain perspective about what I can influence and what I can control – and what I can’t. With my irrational fears, I compartmentalize them and examine what about that “thing” is causing me fear. When I dissect it and embrace the irrational fear, I find it sort of falls apart and wafts away. It's a technique I learned over many, many years of dealing with anxiety and panic.

Fears – both rational and irrational – are very real and very much part of the human journey. Don’t let anyone tell you differently or, especially in the case of irrational fears, to “get over your fear” or “it’s all in your head” or “just face your fears.” The conscious choice we can make, however, is how we choose to deal with our fears.

In my personal experience, avoiding situations that caused irrational fears only gave that fear more power and dominance over me. When I embraced my irrational fears and said “alright, do your worst to me” did I discover that my irrational fears had no power because nothing bad happened. Yea, it seems very counterintuitive – but doing so helped my world expand tremendously and gave me a chance to live the full human experience.

Until next week.

Andy

(All written content created the old-fashioned way).