Change

So…I’m an alcoholic. I’ve crashed a car or two in my lifetime. I’ve been arrested for a DUI. I’ve thrown up in places where civilized people shouldn’t throw up. I’ve been blackout drunk.

But it’s been nearly 30 years since I’ve had any sort of alcoholic drink. At this stage, not drinking is just part of who I am. I don’t struggle with it, and I certainly don’t mind if other people drink.

Why am I sharing this? Because the journey to where I am today was long and strenuous. I had to change my outlook on life, change my approach to drinking, change the way I behaved around alcohol, etc. Three things I learned about change are this (and this applies to both our personal and work lives):

• Change is f&*$ing hard

• Change is incredibly emotional

• Change is intensely personal

Let’s state the obvious right way. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s incremental. There is progress. There are setbacks (I stopped drinking for a couple of years, then started drinking again – because I rationalized that it was “only” beer instead of hard liquor). There are days you want to say “screw it all” and just give up. There are days you feel on top of the world. All of these feelings are normal. And they are part of being human.

All in all, it took me 4 to 5 years to be truly comfortable with the fact I no longer drank alcohol. That’s not a short amount of time. And I felt every emotion you could possibly feel during that transitional period.

There were some key insights, though, that were instrumental for me to change my self-destructive patterns.

1. First and foremost, you have to WANT to change. You are the only person in the world that can begin your journey to change. No one else can do it for you. For me, this meant spiritually and emotionally stripping myself bare and putting my pride aside. It sucked.   

2. While you have to want to change, you can’t do it all yourself. Friends and family are incredibly important. A strong support system is essential. Even if they just hover in the background. As scary as it sounds, that means sharing your change journey with people you trust.

3. When you are ready to change, you want it to happen instantaneously. It won’t. It takes time. It takes energy. It takes commitment. Change is about making small choices in moments to build a solid foundation that eventually leads to big things.

<Take a deep breath.> The hardest part of change is realizing the need for change. Once you get into that mindset (and I’d argue change is a growth mindset, not a fixed mindset), anything is possible. Go be the best version of you!

Cheers,

Andy

(All written content created the old-fashioned way.)